Trigger, p.16
Trigger, page 16
Caring.
And without any restraints or toys.
Just Trigger. We’re just Trigger and Sienna, two lost souls trying to make it through life without what they needed most. Two souls who have finally found each other after years of trying to live without.
“You still close to your family?” he whispers. We’ve been lying in bed together, silent but both awake, for a while now. The sun’s starting to brighten the room and a new day is showing it’s face. But this time, it’s much more bearable than it was this time yesterday.
“I was until I moved out here. Still talk to my mom a good amount but my brother’s kind of pissed I moved so far away for a guy.” I laugh but he doesn’t say anything. “I mean, I didn’t for him,” I blurt. “I just needed out and it was an easy out.”
“Why’d you need out?”
I take a deep breath.
“I think you know,” I whisper and he hugs me tighter to him and presses a kiss on my head.
“Never again, Sienna. We can’t go through that again.”
“No.” I breathe deep, his scent torturing me because I have to go to work soon and I don’t want to leave him. I let my fingers trace the outlines on his arms and chest. Black lines, twisting together with vines. Then I make it to his bicep and pause at a series of dots. “This is beautiful,” I whisper. Wispy, somehow full of emotion, each dot forming a rolling wave.
He grunts and rolls, wrapping his arms around me. “Don’t worry about that one,” he murmurs into my hair.
“Why not?” I shift back and try to pull his arm up to see it again but he fights me.
“Because.” He rolls to his back and covers his face with his arm. I fight the urge to touch him, but it’s a hard battle. He’s glorious. Hard. Toned. “It was a way of coping,” he whispers. I stay silent, afraid any word from me will turn him off. “One dot for every day I lived without you.”
My stomach drops. He added pain to his body...because we weren’t together? I furrow my brows, confused and heartbroken over what we both let slip away. Slowly I straddle him and pull his arm up, inspecting it closer.
“Trigger,” I whisper. “Trig.” I lower myself and kiss along the dots, ending on his lips finally for a soft, loving kiss that ends with his warm arms around me.
“So what do we do now?” I mumble, not letting go of him.
“Do you miss them? Your family?” he asks and my brows furrow in confusion.
“Why are you so worried about my family?” He never showed much interest in my home life before.
He loosens his grip on me and lifts my head so I can see him, cupping my face with his hands.
“You want kids,” he whispers. I nod slowly.
“Eventually, yes,” I say, my gaze locked onto his beautiful eyes. Eyes I’ve dreamed about for years.
“And your mom and dad are on the other side of the country.” It’s not a question and I think I finally know where he’s going with this.
“Trigger, that’s nothing we need to worry about right now.” I scrub my hand over his beard, smiling like an idiot because we’re actually having this conversation. “It’ll be fine.”
“Do you want to move back?” He’s not smiling. He’s just staring into my soul so deep I can almost feel the panic inside him.
“No,” I whisper quickly. “No, I just…” I shake my head. Visions of our breakup are flying through my mind and my panic rises. We broke up over a move. A thirty minute move. What the hell is he going to do when a cross country move comes up in talk. “I haven’t thought about that. At all.” I blink, fear running through my veins.
“But you’d want to be near your mom, right? When we have kids, you’ll want her close.”
When.
Not if.
But when.
“Yeah, I guess so.” I bite my lip in thought, because I don’t know what the right words to say next are. That’s such a huge decision to make and this is not the right time for this discussion. Not now. Eventually, but not now. Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about it. He leans in, presses his lips to mine, and whispers something I never thought I’d hear him say.
“I go where you go Sienna. I’d move across the world if it means getting to keep you. I’ll never be that stupid again.” He pulls back, locks eyes on mine, and shrugs. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You know, I never stopped loving you,” I whisper, biting back a smile. “I tried, but it didn’t feel right.”
“Damn right it didn’t,” he blurts, spinning me and hovering over me. “it’s us, Sienna. Until the end of time.”
Epilogue
Trigger
One Year Later
“What the hell do you mean I can’t see her?” I’m going to put a boot up this doctor’s ass. He kicked me out of the goddamned room! Sienna’s brother Bryce pats me on the shoulder.
“She’ll be fine. They’ll let you go in when she’s settled.” He’s trying to act as a buffer right now but nothing’s coming in between me and my girls.
The doctor seems to thank Bryce without actually saying it because he knows I’ll kick his ass, then dips back behind the door and leaves me stewing in rage. Thirteen hours of trying her hardest, and it wasn’t working. They took her back for an emergency c-section and tossed me out here in my ass. On my fucking ass! When my woman is back there and needs me.
“I’m going back.” I reach for the handle and Bryce stops me, blocking my way.
“You want to get kicked out of here?” He snaps. “Listen, I know you're worried. We all are. But the last thing she needs is you going all tough guy on her and getting thrown out of the hospital when she needs you most.” He chuckles and pats my shoulder. I growl at him and when he doesn’t back down I shove his hand off me and storm to the chair then fall to it. Her mom is sitting across the room from me, smiling sweetly at me like there’s no care in the world but her hands are wrung so tight in her lap that she might be cutting off the circulation.
“Anyone need a coffee?” Hank, Sienna’s dad says, hopping up quickly. He’s as nervous as I am but he’s trying to hold it back for the both of us. There is only room for one crazy asshole in this room, and I’m already filling that spot.
“No.” I grunt, glaring at the doors the doctor just disappeared behind. “They have to let me back there.”
“When I had Bryce it was an emergency cesarean and Hank wasn’t allowed back, Trigger. Everything happened too quickly.”
“I will murder them,” I mumble, silencing her. I think I scare her mom, but she plays nicely. She knows I’d never hurt her or anyone in her family, so she respects me, but there’s a level of worry there. Probably just a mother’s love and worry because of our past but she trusts me. I think.
I wait.
And I wait.
And just when I think I’m going to have to kill people to get to my girl, they come out and call for me. I’ve never moved so fast in my life. Everything moves so fast It feels like I blinked and I’m holding our baby.
“You did perfect,” I whisper and kiss Sienna, choking back an emotion I’m not used to. Relief. Happiness. Complete.
“She’s beautiful,” Sienna whispers, half doped out and falling asleep.
“Just like her mother.” I can’t stop smiling and swipe at my eyes then lean down and press a light kiss on Coraline’s tiny nose. “Daddy loves you, Coraline. I promise to be the best dad in the world.” A small yawn comes out of her and my heart melts. “And I promise to ruin any guy that thinks they can look at you wrong.”
Sienna chuckles and reaches over, taking my hand. We’re complete. The three of us. A family I didn’t ever want until I lived without the girl I needed in my life for a decade.
A family I would die for.
The End
M. Piper, Trigger
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And without any restraints or toys.
Just Trigger. We’re just Trigger and Sienna, two lost souls trying to make it through life without what they needed most. Two souls who have finally found each other after years of trying to live without.
“You still close to your family?” he whispers. We’ve been lying in bed together, silent but both awake, for a while now. The sun’s starting to brighten the room and a new day is showing it’s face. But this time, it’s much more bearable than it was this time yesterday.
“I was until I moved out here. Still talk to my mom a good amount but my brother’s kind of pissed I moved so far away for a guy.” I laugh but he doesn’t say anything. “I mean, I didn’t for him,” I blurt. “I just needed out and it was an easy out.”
“Why’d you need out?”
I take a deep breath.
“I think you know,” I whisper and he hugs me tighter to him and presses a kiss on my head.
“Never again, Sienna. We can’t go through that again.”
“No.” I breathe deep, his scent torturing me because I have to go to work soon and I don’t want to leave him. I let my fingers trace the outlines on his arms and chest. Black lines, twisting together with vines. Then I make it to his bicep and pause at a series of dots. “This is beautiful,” I whisper. Wispy, somehow full of emotion, each dot forming a rolling wave.
He grunts and rolls, wrapping his arms around me. “Don’t worry about that one,” he murmurs into my hair.
“Why not?” I shift back and try to pull his arm up to see it again but he fights me.
“Because.” He rolls to his back and covers his face with his arm. I fight the urge to touch him, but it’s a hard battle. He’s glorious. Hard. Toned. “It was a way of coping,” he whispers. I stay silent, afraid any word from me will turn him off. “One dot for every day I lived without you.”
My stomach drops. He added pain to his body...because we weren’t together? I furrow my brows, confused and heartbroken over what we both let slip away. Slowly I straddle him and pull his arm up, inspecting it closer.
“Trigger,” I whisper. “Trig.” I lower myself and kiss along the dots, ending on his lips finally for a soft, loving kiss that ends with his warm arms around me.
“So what do we do now?” I mumble, not letting go of him.
“Do you miss them? Your family?” he asks and my brows furrow in confusion.
“Why are you so worried about my family?” He never showed much interest in my home life before.
He loosens his grip on me and lifts my head so I can see him, cupping my face with his hands.
“You want kids,” he whispers. I nod slowly.
“Eventually, yes,” I say, my gaze locked onto his beautiful eyes. Eyes I’ve dreamed about for years.
“And your mom and dad are on the other side of the country.” It’s not a question and I think I finally know where he’s going with this.
“Trigger, that’s nothing we need to worry about right now.” I scrub my hand over his beard, smiling like an idiot because we’re actually having this conversation. “It’ll be fine.”
“Do you want to move back?” He’s not smiling. He’s just staring into my soul so deep I can almost feel the panic inside him.
“No,” I whisper quickly. “No, I just…” I shake my head. Visions of our breakup are flying through my mind and my panic rises. We broke up over a move. A thirty minute move. What the hell is he going to do when a cross country move comes up in talk. “I haven’t thought about that. At all.” I blink, fear running through my veins.
“But you’d want to be near your mom, right? When we have kids, you’ll want her close.”
When.
Not if.
But when.
“Yeah, I guess so.” I bite my lip in thought, because I don’t know what the right words to say next are. That’s such a huge decision to make and this is not the right time for this discussion. Not now. Eventually, but not now. Fortunately, I don’t have to worry about it. He leans in, presses his lips to mine, and whispers something I never thought I’d hear him say.
“I go where you go Sienna. I’d move across the world if it means getting to keep you. I’ll never be that stupid again.” He pulls back, locks eyes on mine, and shrugs. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You know, I never stopped loving you,” I whisper, biting back a smile. “I tried, but it didn’t feel right.”
“Damn right it didn’t,” he blurts, spinning me and hovering over me. “it’s us, Sienna. Until the end of time.”
Epilogue
Trigger
One Year Later
“What the hell do you mean I can’t see her?” I’m going to put a boot up this doctor’s ass. He kicked me out of the goddamned room! Sienna’s brother Bryce pats me on the shoulder.
“She’ll be fine. They’ll let you go in when she’s settled.” He’s trying to act as a buffer right now but nothing’s coming in between me and my girls.
The doctor seems to thank Bryce without actually saying it because he knows I’ll kick his ass, then dips back behind the door and leaves me stewing in rage. Thirteen hours of trying her hardest, and it wasn’t working. They took her back for an emergency c-section and tossed me out here in my ass. On my fucking ass! When my woman is back there and needs me.
“I’m going back.” I reach for the handle and Bryce stops me, blocking my way.
“You want to get kicked out of here?” He snaps. “Listen, I know you're worried. We all are. But the last thing she needs is you going all tough guy on her and getting thrown out of the hospital when she needs you most.” He chuckles and pats my shoulder. I growl at him and when he doesn’t back down I shove his hand off me and storm to the chair then fall to it. Her mom is sitting across the room from me, smiling sweetly at me like there’s no care in the world but her hands are wrung so tight in her lap that she might be cutting off the circulation.
“Anyone need a coffee?” Hank, Sienna’s dad says, hopping up quickly. He’s as nervous as I am but he’s trying to hold it back for the both of us. There is only room for one crazy asshole in this room, and I’m already filling that spot.
“No.” I grunt, glaring at the doors the doctor just disappeared behind. “They have to let me back there.”
“When I had Bryce it was an emergency cesarean and Hank wasn’t allowed back, Trigger. Everything happened too quickly.”
“I will murder them,” I mumble, silencing her. I think I scare her mom, but she plays nicely. She knows I’d never hurt her or anyone in her family, so she respects me, but there’s a level of worry there. Probably just a mother’s love and worry because of our past but she trusts me. I think.
I wait.
And I wait.
And just when I think I’m going to have to kill people to get to my girl, they come out and call for me. I’ve never moved so fast in my life. Everything moves so fast It feels like I blinked and I’m holding our baby.
“You did perfect,” I whisper and kiss Sienna, choking back an emotion I’m not used to. Relief. Happiness. Complete.
“She’s beautiful,” Sienna whispers, half doped out and falling asleep.
“Just like her mother.” I can’t stop smiling and swipe at my eyes then lean down and press a light kiss on Coraline’s tiny nose. “Daddy loves you, Coraline. I promise to be the best dad in the world.” A small yawn comes out of her and my heart melts. “And I promise to ruin any guy that thinks they can look at you wrong.”
Sienna chuckles and reaches over, taking my hand. We’re complete. The three of us. A family I didn’t ever want until I lived without the girl I needed in my life for a decade.
A family I would die for.
The End
M. Piper, Trigger
