When Grant Lambert and Chase LaMarca—partners in life and crime—learn that $7 million in not-so-petty cash is hidden in the safe of a rightwing mega-church, they assemble a team of gay and lesbian criminals to infiltrate the church and steal the money. But this Gang That Can’t Do Anything Straight quickly finds its plans complicated by corrupt congressmen (and their gay aides); an “ex-gay” conference; an FBI investigation; the unexpected appearance of a long-lost relative; and—most jarring for these born-and-bred New Yorkers—life in the northern Virginia suburbs. And then there is Dr. Oscar Hurley—founder of the church—and his right-hand man, the Rev. Dennis Merribaugh, who prove themselves every bit as adept as the professionals when it comes to larceny…

If politics makes for strange bedfellows, perhaps no bedfellows are stranger than Grant Lambert and Austin Peebles. Austin Peebles is a professional politician with a problem: a prominent rightwing blogger has come into possession of a compromising cell phone photo of the congressional candidate…an image that could derail his campaign. Enter Grant Lambert—a professional criminal who lives so far below society’s radar he’s never even registered to vote—and his partner in life and crime, Chase LaMarca. If Grant and Chase can make the picture disappear, they’ll make a cool $30,000. It sounds like easy money to the cash-strapped criminals, but then more pictures turn up, the double- and triple-crosses begin, and Grant, Chase, and their gang of gay and lesbian confederates find themselves immersed in the brutal sport of politics, as the stakes grow larger and the bedfellows get stranger and stranger…